Piano Lessons

Once upon a time, a long time ago, I took piano lessons.  I was a very little girl with very little discipline and the lessons were a struggle for me.  My teacher, Miss Bruni, was very, very old, had never married, and playing the piano was her life and soul and her everything.

I don't know what unfortunate karma my Miss Bruni possessed to have me as a student, but every week she came to my house and i hacked away at the lessons.  In the beginning there were scales.  Hours of scales:  one handed, two handed, major scales, minor ones, front ways, backwards, upside downwards ( no, not that last one.).  It was all very tedious and I wondered what any of it had to do with music.  Sometimes, usually on rainy days, she would feel sorry for me and ask me to switch places with her on the bench. And she would play her heart out.  Expertly she would play the most beautiful masterpieces: Mozart, Beethoven, Bach.  Crashing crescendos and tiny, tiny harp flutters; I saw her lost, completely absorbed.  I was mesmerized by the music and also relieved to get a break from the infernal scales...and when the hour was done she would write another practice scale in my lesson book, to be mastered by the next week...

So when I try to crystallize the greatest gift my siksa guru, Srila Bhaktivedanta Narayana Maharaja has given me, I am reminded of learning the piano. Scales are like sadhana or practice.  Sometimes all the rules and regulations on the bhakti path are so difficult to master.  So many anarthas and bad habits are in the way of bhakti.  Enthusiasm, patience, tolerance, humility, all good habits have to replace the old.  Even there may be no taste yet, as in a more advanced stage, but if we want to reach our goal, great endeavor must be made.

But then, sometimes, maybe when we're a little discouraged, maybe when we see ourselves making very little progress, or maybe when we've messed up real bad,  (the rainy days of our lives), then out of compassion Sri Guru may show us a little glimpse of what pure bhakti really is. Then again we are inspired to take up the process with full energy.

Sri Guru knows exactly what lessons (scales) we are to learn and prescribes them in a customized way for each disciple's progress.


Then one day Miss Bruni put a real piece of sheet music in front of me.  It was a simple classical piece by Schubert of Beethoven, can't remember, but I was completely absorbed in learning it. It took about a month, it was way too hard for me, but it was so beautiful...my fingers were strong and quick because of all the scales but the notation was so intricate that i had to memorize it stanza by stanza.

So when we finally get the sheet music, this is like following in the footsteps of the acaryas.   We aren't yet making music on our own but following very carefully those who are master musicians.  Sometimes my teacher would play a duet with me.  She would play the difficult part and I would get the easy one.  This is like when the spiritual master gives us some little service.  He's doing everything, even offering it to Krsna but we get to participate by following his instruction.

Finally, musically, (this I only know in theory as I never reached this stage), one can play music of one's own composition, spontaneously, as if flowing from the heart. And as far as my silly analogy can take us, this perfection compares to pure devotional service.

So as I try to fathom the enormity of the impact that our Srila Gurudeva has made in my life somehow i am reminded of piano lessons.  Sri Guru is the greatest of teachers because his instructions and even chastisements are given with implicit love...

So on this day so soon after his departure I am praying to him and all my gurus, that I may serve them lifetime after lifetime, that i may become a qualified, that I may practice sadhana and bhajana with full enthusiasm, (not like I did with piano) and that he will always show me the way, the bhakti way. ys, gopa